Dial 503 For 'I Love You'
by Artemis Day
Summary: It happened on Anime Cosplay Day. No one could have imagined things would get so out of hand, but maybe it was inevitable, and maybe it was a good thing after all. TamaHaru.


**IMPORTANT A/N: I am aware that I have made jokes about this in the past and that it's getting old. I humbly apologize, but in this case, it was simply unavoidable. You will never see a reference to this again. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.**

**And now back to your regularly scheduled fanfiction.**

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><p>It happened on Anime Cosplay Day, the first one ever held by Ouran Academy's very own Host Club.<p>

It was Renge's idea, which should surprise no one, to have the seven hosts choose their favorite anime and dress up as the character they related to most. When she learned that none of the members watched any anime, she pressed on regardless and simply put them in whatever outfits she thought looked good. Compatibility and enthusiasm for the theme be damned, you cannot stop an otaku on a mission.

This is how Hikaru and Kaoru ended up wearing wigs (black and neon blue respectively) that itched like crazy, and white outfits with black trim that were actually pretty well designed. Their mother's people could have done way better though. That they got to carry around fake swords was also pretty cool, but if Hikaru complained one more time about the head piece covering half his head, even Kaoru would probably want to smack him.

It's also why Hunny and Mori had the honor of cross-dressing. Hunny, with his little red school uniform and red haired pigtail wig was charming droves of fangirls, all of whom wanted to hug the life out of him. When they weren't doing that, they were lamenting that Renge hadn't splurged for a penguin or kitty costume instead. Mori, who wore the same uniform, but with a long black wig and a pair of volleyballs stuffed into his shirt, received mostly awkward stares and people wondering what the hell they were thinking. At least his stoic nature enabled him to stay in character, or so Renge claimed.

Speaking of which, Renge had seen fit to get in on the fun herself. She had purchased a white, one piece jumpsuit and had her personal stylists fashion it into a straightjacket. Her trademark bow was absent, and her hair had been dyed neon green. Completing the look were gold contact lenses and a bird shaped symbol painting on her forehead. She looked very nice and mostly stayed out of the way, but Kyoya couldn't help but feel a little annoyed when he realized that his own cosplay, a purple outfit accessorized by a flowing cape and black mask, apparently came from the same anime. Not to mention the heavy speculation that the characters in question were lovers.

_'I thought she was over it,'_ he thought after she complimented him and his 'acting' for the sixth time in a row.

And then there were Tamaki and Haruhi. The host club's very own president and commoner.

They had been the most difficult to cast, mostly because of Haruhi's objections to the wardrobe of her character. No matter how much Renge tried, she couldn't convince Haruhi to wear the mechanic uniform. That little black strip in place of a shirt was completely, entirely, without a doubt, 110 percent out of the question. It was really for the best anyway. Wearing something like that would carry the risk of exposing Haruhi's true gender to the general public. That, and Tamaki would have a heart attack.

The zipper up top, despite being less revealing, was also flatly rejected for obvious reasons.

They would eventually reach a compromise, and Haruhi now wore a black jacket over a sensible white tank top and a black miniskirt that was slightly longer than the one worn in the show. Her boy cut brown hair was tucked neatly beneath a long, blonde wig and several clip on earrings adorned her ears.

Tamaki had been far easier. He was always willing to go along with whatever crazy idea Renge came up with, if only because he would inevitably find some way to interpret her demands as an ego boost (or else a way from him to receive an ego boost). He'd been more than happy to dress up in all black clothes and a clashing red overcoat. He'd gotten his hair dresser to make a braided blond extension from actual human hair and spent an hour in front of the mirror before the girls arrived, fretting over whether or not it looked convincing and would stay in place.

Out of all of them, he had gotten the most positive reaction, with only a few finding him too tall to play the part. His request rate was off the charts, which was astounding enough even before one factored in his usual 70 percent.

This wasn't to say the others were ignored. Haruhi had been entertaining a whooping seven guests in the minutes before the real show started.

They left reluctantly, having taken several extra minutes to gush at how beautiful Haruhi looked when 'cross dressing' and how much they loved the character she was cosplaying. Haruhi didn't mind, as her next clients wouldn't be around for another ten minutes, but she couldn't deny that she was getting tired. Not only that, the wig was kind of uncomfortable. She scratched at it, heedless of the people watching and almost exposing her true brunette roots.

A gale of laughter lead her focus to Tamaki's table, where her senpai was getting up close and personal with one of his adoring fans. The girl melted into a pile of person goo, and Haruhi dimly wondered what cheesy line he'd used on her this time.

She didn't know why, but lately watching Tamaki host wasn't much fun. Not that it ever had been to begin with, but where she used to just roll her eyes and move on, now Haruhi felt a tightening of her insides whenever she saw him playfully flirting with the girls and making them swoon. It annoyed her, angered her even.

Why? She hadn't the foggiest.

Her fist clenched involuntarily when one of the girls wrapped her arms around him, pulling herself closer so she could play with his braid. Tamaki, while allowing it, didn't seem too impressed with her forwardness. He just laughed along like it was a joke, like this was merely another day for him. Haruhi knew he'd probably have to reject the girl later. That thought made her happy in ways that it definitely shouldn't have.

Turning away with some difficultly, Haruhi then noticed that her teapot needed to be refilled before her next guests arrived. She got to her feet, matting down the mini skirt just in case. She walked to the kitchenette, stopping to say hello to several guests along the way.

She would return, full teapot in hand, to find that the girl from before had maneuvered herself into Tamaki's lap. Haruhi's hand came dangerously close to slipping.

It might have, and Haruhi might have had another broken ceramic for Kyoya to add to her debt, but then Tamaki ever-so gently pushed the girl off and away from him. He maintained his jubilance throughout, but the girl was still disappointed, and the fangirls still found her bold and almost admirable.

And Haruhi was still pissed.

Hands shaking, she vowed not to so much as look in her senpai's direction as she walked back to her table. If she could just get through the day with no more confusing emotions weighing her down, that would be fantastic. She just needed to avoid Tamaki and anything one might associated with him for another hour or so and hopefully he wouldn't try to start anything.

But luck had never been on Haruhi Fujioka's side before, so why should it start now?

"Oh, Haruhi!"

She stopped dead in her tracks, biting down on her tongue to keep from crying out in frustration. In an instant, Tamaki was on his feet and beside her, a white gloved hand resting on her shoulder, preventing her from moving. Begrudgingly, Haruhi looked up at him, his exuberance and bright smile calling attention to him.

She felt something funny, almost like her heart had momentarily stopped beating. Strange…

"Isn't this fun?" Tamaki said, leaning in closer. "I think this is the best theme day we've had since the samurai dress up! We should arrange to do another one sometime soon, I bet there are plenty of adorable characters for you to cosplay, Haruhi!"

Every second he rambled was another layer of exasperation on Haruhi's shoulder. Much as she'd grown to care about Tamaki, in ways she was having a hard time understanding, he could be such a pain sometimes.

The girls were no help.

"Oh yes, another cosplay day would be great!"

"You should dress up as Usui Takumi next time, Tamaki-senpai!"

"Kyoya could be Sebastian from Kuroshitsuji."

"No way, Mori-senpai should be Sebastian, that way Hunny-senpai could be Ciel!"

"I think Tamaki should wear the same Cosplay he's wearing now, he looks so cool as Edward."

"Yeah, even if he is too tall..."

"How about if Haruhi cosplays Jun from Happiness!"

Whoever this Jun character was, the girls were familiar enough with her to find this an excellent idea and squeal accordingly. Had Haruhi known more about this particular anime, or anime in general, she might've laughed at the irony of this suggestion.

As it was, she turned her eyes to the clock in the far corner, willing time to go faster and get her out of this aggravatingly awkward mess. Her gloomy disposition did not go unnoticed, as she discovered upon Tamaki releasing her from his grip and moving to stand in front of her.

"Haruhi, what's wrong?" he asked, frowning for the first time all day. "Are you not enjoying yourself?"

Her eye twitched, an involuntary action that clearly bothered Tamaki. Haruhi fought the urge to back away as he got closer. She suddenly felt much warmer than usual, yet no sweat graced her brow. Tamaki would've said something if it had. He always noticed every subtle nuance in her behavior and body language. This in between flowery declaration of 'fatherly' love and running to the corner at every irritated response she gave.

She used to wonder how someone so stupid could at the same time be so smart. Then one day, she realized that Tamaki had never been truly stupid. Not where it mattered anyway.

But right now wasn't the time for introspection on a guy who could suddenly make her heart race for no reason. Now was the time to want to get as far away from him, and everyone else currently present, as possible.

"Sorry, Senpai, I have another customer on the way," she said, shrugging him off both literally and figuratively by sidestepping out from his hard, yet concerned gaze.

Haruhi sensed his eyes on the back of her head, and imagined them to hold confusion, more concern, and maybe even a little sadness. She shook her head, that kind of thinking was only going to make things worse. Tamaki got upset over everything, whether Haruhi was involved or not. Since when did it bother her this much?

"Oh, but Haruhi-ii," Tamaki slid up beside her. "Don't you just love dressing up as another person? It's like Halloween, but whenever you want and with no candy! You should try and have fun."

Haruhi glared at his red, black and yellow form in her peripheral vision. "I already told you, Senpai, I'm fine."

"No you didn't!"

Her anger briefly turned to the cheeky Hikaru and the fangirls surrounding him who nodded in agreement. How helpful.

Even moreso was Tamaki's presence right behind her.

"Haruhi, if something's wrong," he said softly. "You know you can-"

"Nothing's wrong," Haruhi all but shouted, shying away as her cheeks began to feel hot. "I just want to hurry up and finish the day so I can get out of this costume. The miniskirt is… it's not something I would have preferred to wear."

Tamaki sighed in light exasperation. "Oh come now, you said the same thing about the other outfits Renge suggested. I can understand your objections to the zip up top, but there was nothing wrong with that mechanic's uniform."

"…seriously? Did you even see that… I can't even call it a shirt, it's more like a bra!" Haruhi shot back, her mind now filling with images of herself in that outfit, being drooled over by countless girls who just _loved_ 'his' near shirtlessness. Until one of them made the obvious observation of what was obviously under there, and that it was not something a boy was supposed to have.

"You could have zippered it up," Tamaki suggested, crossing his arms over his chest and flipping his head to one side to remove the fake braid from his shoulder. He then smiled that sparkly, over peppy smile of his. "Besides, the miniskirt looks so cute on you! It would make me so happy so see you wear it aga-"

"Don't you get it?"

Her cry brought all sound to a halt. Everyone was staring at her, the girls, her fellow hosts, Renge. The latter dropped the handheld game she'd been engrossed in to gawk at the scene unfolding. When it became clear that this would be something big, she sprang to her feet and rushed away, a blur of green and white.

Meanwhile, Haruhi was just as stunned by her outburst as anyone else, perhaps even more. Nothing, however, could beat Tamaki's face. He hadn't yet run to the corner for a requisite period of sulking, instead he was frozen in place, his lips barely parted and eyes wide, like a deer caught in headlights. Haruhi felt her hands shaking, and knew that she couldn't stop here. She'd started it, and now she had to finish it. Whatever would be would be.

"I don't like dressing up. I _never_ liked dressing up. I do it because I know you guys want me to, but it is not by my own choice. Why can't you just accept that and stop trying to change me?"

The silence continued, becoming more palpable by the second. Tamaki was taking this all in and Haruhi expected one of two reactions out of him: finally running off to that corner of his in shame, or tearfully (and loudly) apologizing and begging at her feet for forgiveness, swearing he would never do it again even though two days from now, he'd been starting up a gypsy theme or something and trying to put her in a midriff top made of imported Chinese silk.

He did neither.

It seemed today was the day for everyone to act unlike themselves.

Tamaki frowned, his eyes losing their sparkle and turning a deeper shade of violet than Haruhi had ever seen before. His features seemed harder all of a sudden, and though it took some time, Haruhi was able to correctly identity the emotions he wore so plainly.

Hurt. Hurt and anger.

He stepped closer.

"You listen," even his voice was different, much more serious and stern. "I would _never_ try and change who you are. It's true I'd like you to dress more feminine sometimes, but that's because I want you to see how beautiful you are, not because I think you need to be different. You're the smartest, strongest, most amazing woman I've ever met, and that's all I've ever wanted you to be. Besides, aren't you the one who always says that outward appearances aren't important?"

Haruhi opened her mouth, taking in a breath like she was preparing a snappy response. However, she had nothing to say, because Tamaki was right on the money. Closing her mouth, she ground her teeth together in anger over her own philosophies being turned against her. It was eclipsed, however, by an elated feeling rising like a balloon in the pit of her stomach, steadily growing larger and stronger. He really did like her as she was...

Even so, her pride wouldn't allow her to give up so easily. Not because of a few pretty words.

"Okay…" she trailed off breifly. "But if I asked you to stop trying to dress me up and respect my wishes, you wouldn't listen, would you?"

"You've never asked," Tamaki replied curtly.

"Of course I have. You just never listen!"

"Maybe you need to talk louder."

"If you'd be quiet once in a while, you might hear me, but all you ever care about is what _you_ want and what _you_ think we should do."

"I just want all of us to have a good time. It's not my fault if you can't be open minded about it."

"I'm very open minded, I just don't want to wear this stupid miniskirt anymore."

"Then you shouldn't have gone along with this."

"Well, why did you? You don't even know anything about the character you're dressed as."

"Neither do you, and neither does anyone else. Don't pin the blame on me!"

By now, the bickering pair didn't seem aware of anything except each other. Not even their growing closeness as Tamaki leaned far over and Haruhi stood on her tip-toes could get through the anger fueled block on their senses.

This, of course, didn't mean that no one else could see it, nor the fact that Tamaki had all but declared his love for Haruhi while directly referring to her as a female. The rest of the club in particular were all too conscious of this.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Hikaru hissed, his face white with fear.

"Don't they realize they've blown Haruhi's cover?" Kaoru said through anxious nail biting.

"What if Haru-chan has to leave now that everyone knows?" Hunny-senpai looked close to crying.

The final two members, Kyoya and Mori-senpai, were not quite as bothered by the display as everyone else. In fact, Kyoya was perfectly fine with it, because the looks on all the girl's faces as they watched the spectacle with inhuman concentration could only mean one thing. He wondered, as he removed the obstructing helmet-like mask from his head, how long before the others realized just what they were thinking of this.

Haruhi was yelling herself hoarse now, barely an inch away from having her face pressed against the equally, if not more, enraged Tamaki. Her fingers flexed over air, and she wished there was something long, hard and metallic there that she could smack him with.

Her wig was started to fall off in the excitement, showing the barest extent of her brown hairline. Tamaki's braid looked be in place perfectly, because what else was new?

"I've had enough of you and your narcissism. The world does not revolve around you!"

"It doesn't revolve around studying either, but with the way you do it, you'd think a history textbook is God!"

"At least I'm doing something with my time other than prancing around like a sparkly eyed oblivious idiot!"

"Oblivious? Oh no. The last thing I am is oblivious, not to you and not to the others. I know more about you than you think."

"You don't know anything except what you want to believe is real."

"Didn't we already have this discussion? I know what kind of person you are! I've known from the very beginning and I don't want to change you because I love you!"

"You don't know anythi-"

Haruhi stopped.

She stopped and she stared.

She stopped and she stared and she let her mouth fall open.

It was one of those thing that is so unexpected, and so out of nowhere, that it doesn't fully register right away, and when it does, nothing else matters anymore. All the negativity building up within Haruhi dissolved into nothing. Her scowl softened, her body relaxed, and her heart beat even faster.

He said he loved her.

He, Tamaki Suoh.

Loved her, Haruhi Fujioka.

No other explanation the turning wheels in her head could come up with made more sense. He couldn't have meant 'I love your personality,' because he would have said it that way. The same went for, 'I love people like you,' or 'I love that you are true to yourself.'

Tamaki Suoh never said anything he didn't mean. Haruhi knew that, she knew that very well.

"You love me...?"

Tamaki heard her clearly, and reacted accordingly. His face and his jaw fell like a brick as he sputtered and stumbled back. Disjointed words and phrases tried and failed to cover his slip-up. In the background, Hikaru and Kaoru were torn between screaming, ripping their hair out, and fainting. Hunny-senpai had joined the girls in treating it like a reality show gone wrong (or right depending on your point of view). Renge had returned with a black, felt tip marker and a large piece of poster board, on which she was writing furiously. Kyoya smiled serenely.

As for Tamaki…

"I- I just- I meant- you see I- I-"

His face had gone redder than his coat, which was really saying something. Violet eyes darted frantically in all directions, as if seeking inspiration for an excuse that might cover for him.

Haruhi was rooted at the spot, watching his attempted song and dance around the issue while her own thoughts and emotions ran haywire. With Tamaki's outburst came a sense of understanding, not just about Tamaki, but herself as well. The meaning behind all those strange emotions he brought out in her, all the confusion and the nervousness and the jealousy; it came together like the pieces of a puzzle.

The corner of her lips turned up, a smile that brightened her face and went well with her growing desire to laugh. She instead reached out, gently grasping one of Tamaki's flailing hands in hers. He froze at the contact.

"Stop," she said softly, her other hand going to his cheek in a comforting and loving manner. "It's okay."

Their audience collectively sucked in a breath.

"Why are you letting them do this?" Hikaru cried, rounding on Kyoya like an angry predator and dislodging his headpiece in the process. "Do you hear what he's saying? Do you realize he called her a woman for all the world to hear?"

The Shadow King was unfazed, Hikaru's pointless objections meaning nothing to him in face of what the boy couldn't yet see. His sole response, to Hikaru's outrage, was a tiny head gesture to the left.

"While I understand your concerns, there is no real problem as nothing has actually been revealed," he said. "You are aware, of course, that Tamaki and Haruhi are playing as characters from the same series."

Hikaru, though not getting the point of this, slowly nodded his head. Right then, before he could voice one more of his many questions, a group of hushed female voices rose to audibility and his ears picked them up for the first time.

"…so sweet. But they can't be for real can they?"

"What, are you blind? This is Anime Cosplay Day. It's obvious what's going on here."

"This is the best cosplay skit I've ever seen."

"Ed proclaiming his love for Winry… this is how the anime should have ended."

"Well, it kind of did…"

"It's so beautiful."

"I'm going to cry!"

"Tamaki and Haruhi are so cool for doing this."

"I _knew_ there was a reason they picked Fullmetal Alchemist."

"But I want Ed and Roy to be together!"

"Shut up."

That last one was several voices at once.

Hikaru and Kaoru glanced incredulously at each other, then at Kyoya, and his complete composure in the face of this most… eventful of days. It was almost scary how he could do that.

"A cosplay skit…" Kaoru muttered. "They think it's all a cosplay skit?"

Kyoya shrugged. "If it bothers you, feel free to correct them."

The twins said nothing.

Tamaki, still getting off his terror induced adrenaline rush, stretched his arms out straight to stop them from shaking as he took Haruhi by the hands. Her beautiful brown eyes stared expectantly into his. He brushed aside the antenna-like strands of hair Renge had suggested he wear to complete his look. They had sagged and were now in the way of more important things.

"I…" he swallowed, then tried again. "No, I won't deny it. I love you, and I think I always have. I-"

_Pssst._ "Senpai, over here!"

Tamaki blinked, this new voice was definitely not Haruhi's, but somewhere in her direction for sure. Looking up, he quickly found the green head that was Renge, along with the poster board she held above her head. With her free hand, she made circles around the written words and mouthed 'say this' repeatedly and furiously.

"Huh?" Tamaki said dumbly, causing Haruhi to raise an eyebrow. He squinted a bit to make the far away words somewhat clearer. "I uh… and I'll give you half my life, so you give me… calf? Oh, _half_! Half of yours."

Renge flashed him a thumbs up, then zoomed out of sight to parts unknown. This turned out to be the other side of the room, where she now stood so Haruhi could see her from the side. She had turned the board around to show new words, and issued the same silent commands to a less willing and more irritated at the interruptions Haruhi.

She might have said something, until Kyoya stepped into her side vision, reminding her that this was happening in public, in front of their customers, and that some damage control might be a good idea before she and Tamaki worked out their newfound feelings for each other.

"Um… don't be stupid," she read aloud robotically. "You can have… all my life?"

The reaction was instantaneous.

Upwards of fifty teenage girls began to squeal and scream in unison, the sole naysayer included. Everyone not female or named Haruhi had to hold their ears to block the sounds that put cracks in at least five windows. Even when it started to die down almost a full five minutes later, girls were still shouting things like "Beautiful!" and "Oscar-worthy" and "EdWin forever!"

Haruhi's upper body pitched forward, an honestly useless attempt at escaping the noise. Looking to the side, she found that she wasn't the only one with this idea in mind. Her and Tamaki were almost perfectly level in height for once.

He grinned, a nervous laugh emitting from his throat. Haruhi smiled right back.

When Kyoya announced the club would be closing early and Hunny-senpai and Mori-senpai had gotten the final, dreamily sighing girl out the door, everyone only had a few seconds to enjoy the quiet. There was still one bubbly teenage girl they couldn't throw out.

"That. Was. INCREDIBLE!" Renge screamed, getting close enough in Haruhi's face that their noses were almost touching.

"It was quite the show," Kyoya agreed, adding up figures in his notebook. "I'd say this will bring club attendance to an all time high for the next few weeks. Though I do hope you two are aware that this only worked out because today was fortunately cosplay day. I ask that next time, you restrict your personal disagreements to a more private setting."

Renge snorted at him. "What are you talking about? That wasn't real, the whole fight was just cosplay skit, right?"

Nobody answered her. Everyone was too busy either packing up their costumes, smiling knowingly, or staring deep into each other's eyes. Renge faltered.

"I-it was cosplay," she repeated weakly. "Tamaki and Haruhi were just playing their parts. They aren't _really_ in love."

At this, Tamaki looked away from Haruhi, gracing Renge with an oddly blank look as he raised one hand to remove the braided extension.

"My apologies, Renge," he said, doing the same thing to Haruhi's blonde wig and tossing both hair pieces aside. "While I can't speak for these Edward and Winry characters, Tamaki is very much in love with Haruhi. That I know for sure."

Further making this point was his next action, pulling Haruhi close and capturing her lips with his. His arms wrapped around her small waist as hers ran up the top of his back. Their kiss become more passionate, and Renge's eyes bugged so far out, a pin might have popped them like balloons.

A soft 'oh' escaped her lips just before the blood rushing full force to her face caused her to faint. Some of it still managed to leak out of her nose even after she'd lost consciousness.

It was a fortunate development. The sheer overload of 'yaoi' love was too much for her to handle. When Renge woke up next, alone in her bedroom with a cold compress on her head, she would remember none of this thanks to her mind blocking it out.

Thus, Haruhi's secret was still safe, the host club was more popular than ever, and Tamaki and Haruhi's true feelings for each other were finally out in the open. It was safe to say that Anime Cosplay Day had been a huge success.

And that they would not be having another one for a very, very, _very_ long time.

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><p><strong>AN: This is based on a funny little scenario I've had in my head for months and never really had a place to use it. So I decided, in honor of Valentine's Day, to just turn it into a oneshot. The Host Club does theme days all the time, who's to say they would never have done a Cosplay day were it not for pesky copyright laws. That's a great thing about fanfiction, we don't have to worry about any of that crap.**

**I hope you enjoyed and that you all had a great Valentine's/Singles Awareness Day!**

**PS: Anyone know who the rest of the club (and Renge) are dressed as? Remember, only Tamaki and Haruhi are characters from FMA.**


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